Dad’s Morning Brew
To spank or not to spank? I was scanning through the channels yesterday and came upon a Dr. Phil show. He was instructing parents on the show to not spank their kids. He even said that kids who get spankings have lower IQ levels than kids who don’t. Wow, now that’s a guilt trip.
You know, when I first began my life as a dad, I vowed early on not to spank my kids. My thinking was there were other ways to discipline kids and being a college graduate and all, I should be able to figure that out. But when my oldest daughter, Danielle, hit two years old a funny thing happened. I changed my mind and I remember clearly the day it happened.
One night, her young cousin was over visiting with his mom (my sister) and his dad. My wife, Beth, had just had baby No. 2, Kristen, and my sister was upstairs in our old townhome visiting with her. Meanwhile, I was downstairs with my brother-in-law and the kids. They were having fun, but they kept running up the stairway. We told them both to stop but they just kept doing it. Finally, my brother-in-law told his son, “If you do that one more time, I’m going to warm your seat.” That seemed to calm him down.
Something struck me that day. I have the utmost respect for my brother-in-law. He’s a bright guy (a doctor at that) and I know his personality. He wouldn’t harm anyone. If he could give his kid a spanking, then that was good enough for me.
The next day, Danielle was being extra restless and refusing to go down for her nap. I told her to go to sleep and when I came back in the room she was jumping on the bed. I told her again and again to stop jumping and go to sleep. Time and time again, she ignored me. Finally, I came into the room and gave her a quick pop on her diaper clothed bottom.
The result was amazing. No more jumping and right to sleep she went.
Now, I will tell you that I did not make spanking an everyday thing. I reserved it for times that I needed to get their attention. And as they got older, the spankings became non-existent. In fact, a couple years ago, I was joking with them all. I told the girls, I don’t remember the last time you got spankings. Then I looked at my son, who was about four at the time. “And I don’t remember the time you didn’t get a spanking.”
We all laughed. With all due respect to Dr. Phil, who is much smarter than me, I don’t see any evidence that my kids are maladjusted or harmed or have less intelligence because they got a spanking or three when then were younger. In fact, Danielle regularly tests in the advanced levels at school and they all have made the honor roll one time or another.
So now that I’ve bared my soul, what do you think? Do you agree with Dr. Phil? Do you think kids should never be spanked? And by that I mean just a swat on the behind, not anything more.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
All may be Fair after all
- As I mentioned yesterday, the Orange County Fairgrounds was sold off at auction to a Newport Beach outlet developer named Steve Craig for $56.5 million. Although the state still can void the sale, for now we can assume that Craig is going to be the new owner. So kudos to my friend Geoff West, a blogger out of Costa Mesa, who was able to get an interview with Craig yesterday. Craig seemed to assure West that he will leave the fair as is. See West’s blog here: A BUBBLING CAULDRON